Aryna Sabalenka had just lost to Emma Navarro at Indian Wells on March 13, 2024, and was already back on the practice court preparing for the Miami Open. But five days later, her world was turned upside down when news broke that her former boyfriend, Konstantin Koltsov, had died in Miami-Dade County, Florida.

With barely five days to process the devastating news, Sabalenka still showed up in Miami. She beat Paula Badosa in the opening round before falling to Anhelina Kalinina in the Round of 32. Looking back two years later, Sabalenka revealed to TIME that there was one thing that helped her stay grounded through that incredibly difficult period and kept her from slipping into depression.

“Tennis really saved me from depression,” she says. “I was just trying to focus on training, just so I spend less time with myself in my thoughts. I would cry in practice a lot,” confessed Sabalenka. “It was a very tough moment in my life.” After Koltsov had passed away, Sabalenka clarified in an official statement that they were not together anymore prior to his death, but that did not stop the Belarusian from suffering from severe shock.

Taking to social media, Sabalenka described Koltsov’s death as an “unthinkable tragedy” and asked fans and the media to give both her and his family some privacy as they navigated the difficult period. She wrote, “Please respect my privacy and his family’s privacy during this difficult time.”

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And when grief hit, Sabalenka turned to the one thing she knew best: tennis. She poured herself into the sport she loved and still managed some remarkable results in the months that followed, reaching the quarterfinals in Stuttgart, finals in Madrid and Rome, and the semifinals in Washington DC before winning Cincinnati and lifting her maiden US Open trophy in Flushing Meadows. She then carried that momentum into the Asian swing, winning the Wuhan Open.

Sadly, this wasn’t the first time Sabalenka had to lean on tennis while carrying the weight of personal loss. In 2019, she lost her father, Sergey, to meningitis. His death hit her hard, especially as she felt the pressure to fulfill their shared dream of winning a Grand Slam before turning 25. She eventually did it at the 2023 Australian Open, dedicating the title to her father. A year later, after winning the US Open, Sabalenka once again dedicated the triumph to him.

She stated, “Well, you know, after I lost my father, it’s always been my goal to put our family name in the history of tennis. Every time I see my name on that trophy, I’m so proud of myself, I’m proud of my family that they never gave up on my dream and that they were doing everything they could to keep me going.”

Two years on, Sabalenka has firmly established herself at the top of the sport, but keeping her emotions in check has remained a battle. Even this season, the World No. 1 has had a few moments where the weight of it all seemed to catch up with her.

Aryna Sabalenka Has struggled with Her emotions on court

Sabalenka started the year strong, reaching the Australian Open final and winning titles in Brisbane, Indian Wells, and Miami. However, her last two losses at the Grand Slams have seen the World No.1 get visibly flustered on court and losing her own rhythm of play.

In her quarterfinal clash against Diana Shnaider at the French Open, Sabalenka just lost all her bearings as she struggled in the wind, losing ten games in a row against the Russian opponent. Similarly, during her Wimbledon match against Naomi Osaka, the Belarusian grew irritated when she could not find a way past the Japanese player’s serve and made costly errors in the tiebreak, where she has usually been dominant.

The press conferences after her losses were also telling, as she talked about “quitting tennis” following the Paris defeat, while she received some criticism for saying she wanted to “get completely drunk” after her Wimbledon loss.

Sabalenka has always played with her heart on her sleeve, and that has been the signature of her playing style, which is based on raw power. However, in the last few years of her dominance, she has developed accuracy and variety in her shots, making her a formidable opponent.

Sabalenka is known for her steely mentality, and one would hope that the World No. 1 soon finds her groove at the Cincinnati Open and the US Open.