Honestly, who could’ve prepared Konnor McClain for that December night in 2021? While America slept and the pandemic raged, the 16-year-old gymnast watched her world collapse as her father succumbed to COVID-19 at 1:27 a.m. Frankly, how does anyone breathe after that? “I love you ❤️,” she posted beneath a childhood photo, words that couldn’t possibly capture her heartbreak. For two months afterward, she wasn’t on the mat. And she even blamed the sport! Yes, that’s true!

She stood by the window in her father’s hospital room, 16 years old, heart pounding, eyes fixed. And then, silence. Flatline. “I remember like standing in the window and that’s when he took his last breath,” Konnor says in a clip shared by ESPN Originals on April 13, her voice steady but soft, “and then you just like hear the machine flat line.”

The clip opens on the stark stillness of a patient care unit, then fades briefly to a photograph of her dad, Marc McClain. Moments later, we see Konnor herself, seated in an LSU full-sleeve T-shirt, recounting the weight of grief few teenagers could articulate, let alone carry. “After he passed, that’s when I started blaming gymnastics on like why I wasn’t with my family,” she says, “like and why I didn’t get as much time with my dad as like my siblings did.”

Frankly, it’s hard not to feel that ache with her. And for two long months, she stayed away from the gym. From the world she had given everything to. How could she return? “But he was the one who wanted me in the gym,” she continues. “And so it took a long time for me to realize that I kind of used my anger and all the pain that I suffered through…and I persevered, and I made the best out of it.”

As she speaks, the clip shifts into motion. Konnor is back on the balance beam at the Winter Cup. Then bars and Vault. The final scene? History. Flanked by Shilese Jones and Jordan Chiles, Konnor stands atop the first all-Black podium in the event’s history. She won the 2022 U.S. Gymnastics National Championship all-around title. The host echoes the moment: “Flanked by Shilese Jones and Jordan Chiles, she topped the first all-Black podium in the event’s history.” And just when you think the tears have dried, Konnor says, “It felt like he was right there beside me. He almost like helped me because he knew I could do it. He like held me up there like on the event….He didn’t let me fall.”

But what was going on in Konnor McClain’s mind when her father was admitted?

Konnor McClain opens up about her father’s last days

Honestly, what do you do when your world starts unraveling at just 16? For Konnor McClain, the answer was: you keep showing up. Even as her father, Marc, battled COVID-19 in a Las Vegas hospital, placed on a ventilator, she had to stay in Dallas—training, chasing their shared dream. And somehow, she found a way to stay close. But internally, she was fighting a battle!

“There was no talking back, I was just like—if my dad dies, like I die,” Konnor told ESPN Originals. “We knew he was listening… because sometimes… like, a tear would drop from his face.” FaceTime became their lifeline when his father was isolated in a hospital in the ventilator. There was a quiet hope that maybe—just maybe—he could still hear her. She held on to that, even as the distance tore her apart.

“December 27th… we all got to see him….We didn’t get to touch him or anything, but we all got to look at him.” That was the day her dad passed away. But he left behind one of the most precious parts of his heart!