For most NFL quarterbacks, finding unexpected company after a game might be a welcome surprise, but for a focused Troy Aikman, it was grounds for a 911 call. When the league’s top quarterback came home after a game in 1995 and found a few women hanging out in his backyard, he was scared. The same story was revealed by his former teammate on Thursday.

“Troy came home after one game, and there were some girls in his backyard, and he called the police on them. You know what that went down like in the locker room? We were like, ‘Why’d you call the police?’ I mean, you call the two of us. We’d come over and take care of that,” Michael Irvin said on The Dan Patrick Show.

That’s about the most Michael Irvin response imaginable. When Patrick followed up and asked Irvin what he would’ve done in Aikman’s spot, Irvin didn’t hesitate.

“What are y’all drinking?” he said.

That got a laugh, especially since just minutes earlier Irvin had been talking about Aikman’s dating history. Patrick mentioned that Aikman had dated Shania Twain at one point, and Irvin jumped in quickly.

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“He had them all, man,” Irvin said.

Which is why the story lands the way it does. You wouldn’t expect Troy Aikman to be the guy calling the police, especially given that reputation. But that was always part of what made him different. On the field, he was steady, controlled, almost clinical. Apparently, that didn’t turn off once the helmet came off.

The simplest explanation is probably the right one. After games, Aikman wanted quiet, recovery, and maybe some stretching. Not chaos and distractions. That mindset carried through everything he did. And maybe that’s part of why he ended up being who he was.

As for Irvin, reminiscing about those stories was all fun and games, but the mask had to fall off. He couldn’t hide the disappointment about his former team.

Michael Irvin gives a failing grade to the Cowboys

According to The Athletic’s playoff simulator, the Dallas Cowboys are sitting below a one percent chance of getting in. The road is barely there. Cowboys would need the Philadelphia Eagles to lose their final three games and then take care of its own business the rest of the way. It’s not realistic, and when asked to assess the 2025 season, the evaluation was blunt.

“There is no grade to give outside of a failure grade. I don’t want to hear how many records you broke this year, I don’t want to hear what you did in statistics. I want to hear wins and losses, and are you in the playoffs with a chance to win a ring, and they are not. That’s a failing grade.”

It’s hard to argue with that. Dak Prescott stayed healthy and played at an MVP level for long stretches, and it still wasn’t enough. That’s the part that keeps repeating itself. Dallas hasn’t been past the divisional round since the 1995 season, the last time the franchise held the Lombardi Trophy. That’s nearly three decades of coming up short.

For a team labeled America’s Team, with the biggest spotlight, the biggest brand, and the richest valuation in sports, the results don’t match the image. The stage is always there. The ending rarely changes.

For someone like Michael Irvin, who grew up in a locker room where winning was the expectation every year, that disconnect is hard to stomach. And the longer it goes on, the louder the frustration gets.