For millions of football fans, Laura Rutledge does her job near-flawlessly and with complete comfort. She hosts NFL Live. She appears on SEC Nation every Saturday during college football season, reporting from packed stadiums and interviewing superstar coaches. It feels like the kind of career young broadcasters dream about. But behind that confident shell also lies a nervous reporter.

Speaking on The Pivot Podcast with former NFL players Ryan Clark, Channing Crowder, and Fred Taylor, she opened up about the insecurities she still battles in her broadcasting career.

“I think there’s just this constant feeling of impostor syndrome, a little bit. Like, I don’t belong in these places,” Rutledge said.

“I try to dissociate when I’m actually doing it, and then I think back, or I think about doing it, and I get really a lot of anxiety about it because I’m thinking, oh my goodness, like I can’t do that. I’m not equipped for that. When in reality, deep down, I know that I am.”

Rutledge knows what she’s capable of. The heights of success may be dizzying, yes, but she graduated with a journalism degree along with the Red Barber Award for Excellence in Broadcasting in 2011. She found her way into the sporting world through a sports radio internship in college and soon fell in love with the challenging industry.

She became a reporter for the Tampa Bay Rays and later featured in Padres games, too. She also produced her own show covering the San Diego Chargers, and worked with huge companies like CNN and then ESPN, where, for someone without a sports background, nerves of steel were needed.

“One of the coolest moments was the very first college football playoff game that I ever got to cover,” Rutledge added, recounting the Alabama vs. Clemson game from the 2018 college playoffs, her first big break.

“They finally said, you know, we’ll put you on the sideline for one of the playoff games. And they were adding additional sideline reporters. And I just remember being so freaked out by it all. In the lead-up to it, I was panicked. I thought, ‘I can’t do this cuz I can’t get myself together. I’m so nervous.'”

That feeling of millions of eyes watching her, possibly scrutinizing her every word, was hard to shake.

But as Rutledge settled into the game and the atmosphere around it, everything slowly started to feel like just another day at work. Once the national anthem began and the fans took over, things started flowing naturally. Nine years later, Rutledge is now a seasoned reporter who works across ESPN’s premier football coverage, although those jitters still come and go.

Thankfully, at home, she has all the support she needs in the world.

Rutledge went from a “baseball wife” to a football regular

Rutledge’s attempts early in her career to rise in the broadcasting world were akin to “sink or swim.” She recounted sweating through a pink satin shirt during her first on-air event and feeling unprepared with the equipment and terminology. A common, but horrifying feeling among journalists new to the industry.

But with grit and a refusal to give up, she rose through the ranks to become a regular in the industry. However, had it not been for MLB player Josh Rutledge, she may never have become so widely known.

In 2013, two years after sliding into Rutledge’s Twitter DMs and five years before her big break, she married the baseball player. Her priorities shifted, and she wanted to become a “baseball wife.”

“I want to support you, so I quit that job. I gave that job up. And I mean, it was good for a 25-year-old. I was making good money. I was living in San Diego. And I was loving it. And all of a sudden, it was kind of all gone,” Rutledge recounted.

“I thought, ‘Okay, I’m going to fully commit to him.’ We got a dog; like, we’re not ready for kids yet. I did it for probably, I don’t know, let’s call it eight months or so, maybe less, and he was like, ‘You need to go back to work.’

“Because I was driving him crazy, and I was driving myself crazy because I realized I’m not like; I just have to do more. I have to, and I love this too much. It was interesting because, as much as I loved him and I wanted to be there for him, he realized, like, she needs to do what she loves too. And maybe it is possible to do both.”

The return, however, was not smooth. ESPN only handed her a 12-week deal, which, according to Rutledge, barely had any money in it.

“When I first showed Josh that contract from ESPN, he was like, “Are they even paying you? Are we paying to work?” Like legitimately, he’s like, “It may cost us more money… And it’s because of him that I could even build what’s been built, you know.”

She began working as a reporter on the SEC Network, anchored SportsCenter, and hosted red-carpet coverage for the Home Depot Awards, the ESPYs, and the NFL Draft. And this was still early in her career. She also worked at the NCAA Women’s Gymnastics Championships and the College World Series. To say she worked hard would be underselling it, and ESPN recognized it. It eventually led to the breakthrough moment during the 2018 College Football Playoff, after which the company truly became her home.

From being hired on an initial four-month contract, Rutledge signed a multi-year extension with ESPN in February this year.

“ESPN has provided me the support and freedom to build my dream career since I arrived eager to learn and grow. I appreciate its continued faith in me and hope they recognize the gratitude and pride I have working for the company,” she said.